Agnes and the Hitman

Agnes and the Hitman

[a Novel]

Book - 2007
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Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett and you've got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love... Agnes Crandall's life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she's staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane, no last name, just Shane, and he has his own problems: he's got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn't so little, his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes's house, and his last hit was a miss, Shane's life isn't looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hit men show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and - most dangerous of all - each other. Agnes and the Hitman is the perfect combination of sugar and spice, sweet and salty - a novel of delicious proportions.
Publisher: New York : St. Martin's Press, 2007
Edition: 1st ed
ISBN: 9780312363048
Branch Call Number: CRUS
Characteristics: 368 p
Additional Contributors: Mayer, Bob


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Jan 12, 2019

I loved reading this book when it first came to the library. I wondered what was going to happen next all the while Agnes made me want pancakes and Virginia ham slices. It would be great to have it as an audio book.

This duo has written a very funny and witty book about Agnes’s trials and tribulations that are all made better by food and a hitman. Agnes has to cater a wedding by the weekend or lose her home and her business. In the process, there are a few dead bodies, a traitorous fiancé, and the gorgeous hunk come to her aid. Not to her rescue though as Agnes has a propensity for brandishing frying pans and sharp pointy forks. (submitted by JB)

Sep 03, 2018

I figured this was breezy summer reading based this library's recommendation, and it was. I originally gave it four stars, then thought the better of it overnight and reduced it to three.

Yes, it's a fast-paced, deliberately silly story about The Mob. I'd almost characterize it as a bedroom comedy except much of it takes place in different locales or outdoors. But, in thinking it over, there are way too many killings (albeit mostly of bad guys) in a short space of time, and no sense of mourning even of the faintly bad guys.

That leaves a bad aftertaste.

Aug 25, 2017

Nice to be reading Crusie again. Lots of twists and turns in this rom-com murder mystery with a whole lot of crazy fun characters. She likes her heroines high strung but likeable and her heroes silent but dependable, eh? I like it and I've seen similar pairings in her other books as well.

Feb 27, 2017

I read this book a few years ago but it stands out in my memory as quite funny in parts. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would highly recommend it.

Sep 05, 2014

This is such a fun book with great characters and over-the-top scenes.
I enjoyed it.

really disorganized writing and not my type of slap stick humour

Jun 06, 2014

I really enjoyed this book! There is never a dull moment. It is very funny and the main character is full of life.

Meeeeeee Jul 05, 2013

I have been looking for this type or writing for some time and this book did not disappoint. The humor is sophisticated and on the mark.
The best of the two they have done so far, looking forward to more. I got a good picture of that alley scene in my head after reading it.

Jun 14, 2012

Hilarious story of a cook with anger management issues that gets mixed up with the Mob, all while planning a wedding, and trying to sabotage the nefarious scheming of the Bride's grandmother. Mobsters, hitmen, food, romance, flamingos... what more does a novel need? There is some questionable language, but if you can put that aside, the antics of Agnes and the rest of the characters will keep you reading.

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technojoy Nov 25, 2011

“Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel...used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too.” [From an article Agnes wrote]

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